Christmas Funny Quotes

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Christmas Funny Quotes Biography
Here's a selection of what I think are some of the best Christmas quotes. I hope you like them too!

Obviously "best" is a matter of personal preference, but maybe you'll have similar taste to me. Personally, I like quotes that are funny or give you the warm fuzzies, but are not overbearingly sentimental.

What are your favourite Christmas quotes? If you have one that you think deserves to be a place in my list of the "World's Best Christmas Quotes", then let me know!

When I made this list, I had Christmas card writing in mind. So, most of the quotes are perfect as Christmas card quotes that you can write alongside your personal message in your Christmas cards.

Funny Christmas Quotes


I hope that these funny Christmas sayings and humorous Christmas quotes bring a smile to your face like they did to mine!

By the way, I've deliberately left out quotes that I found too cynical. There are some very funny Christmas card sayings out there that on second thoughts reveal a dim view of human nature. Funny as they might be, they didn't make it onto my best Christmas quotes list. You might call this the optimists-only list :-)
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal."
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
My favourite cute Christmas quotes to make you feel warm inside :-) Mostly they're short enough to work well as Christmas card quotes.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."
May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,The gladness of Christmas give you hope,The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."

To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."
~Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.

Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still.

I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;It makes no noise at all,But softly gives itself away;While quite unselfish,

There are many kinds of quotes. If you need to funny quotes for Christmas. Then here we are providing you the best funny Christmas quotes and statuses that you can send to your dear once.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
You know you've grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store. 
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?  You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.
A brilliant seasonal selection of Funny Christmas quotes and Funny Christmas Sayings to give you some Holiday cheer this year! If you're searching for greetings for your Facebook page, for Christmas cards and seasonal scrapbooks, here's some great and funny jokes, quotes and sayings you can use for some Holiday fun.

If you know someone else who could do with some Christmas cheer then pass this Funny Christmas Quotations page along. I love to read funny web pages when I need cheering up.

Be sure to bookmark (CTRL and D) this Funny Christmas Quotes page because I do keep this updated on an ongoing basis. And if you have any great Xmas Quotes to share, please do in the Comments section near the end of the article.
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
~ Supplied by Helene-Malmsio

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
~ Bernard Manning

"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice." ~ Author Unknown

"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas."
~ Kin Hubbard

"Do they still make wooden Christmas Trees?"
~ Charles Schulz
"The price of Christmas toys is outrageous -- a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch."
~ Johnny Carson

"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus."
~ Bob Phillips

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
~ Phyllis Diller
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